Cold hands, warm shart.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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