im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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