you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
