ugly people sure do ruin things
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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