So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
