i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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