my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
