your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
