Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I looked at my own cervix.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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