You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
