We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
