I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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