also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
