i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
