Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
