I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
