You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
