Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
