Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
