I heard we made out
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You're like the curious george of whores
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
