let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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