I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
When are your genitals available?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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