i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
