I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
