good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
