she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
