i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
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