Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just high enough for therapy.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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