woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
