i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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