YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
