just come out here and I will go home with you...
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
