Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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