i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
