The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
