and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
