I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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