I heard we made out
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
