her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i would punch a child for taco bell
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
