i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
