You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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