you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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