no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
