There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
