Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I wear drunk well.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
