I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
