Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
