He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I have feelings that need drinking.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
