I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
