Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
