I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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